LEADERSHIP--In Vino Opprobrium...

...which is Latin for "There's a scandal at the bottom of every bottle."

If you ever wanted a good reason why it's important for you as a person of influence to keep your public presence pristine, I have two words for you--Mel Gibson.

According to the AP, Mel was stopped by Malibu police Friday night for drunken driving. The entertainment Web site TMZ posted what it said were four pages from the original arrest report, which quoted Gibson as launching an expletive-laden "barrage of anti-Semitic remarks" after he was stopped on Pacific Coast Highway. (You can read the whole story HERE.)

Hollywood really doesn't care what their superstars say or do as long as their movies sell tickets. But Mel's reputation--which took some unfair hits during the filming ofThe Passion of the Christ--is now squarely in the crosshairs. And he deserves everything he gets.

The good news is that Mel immediately apologized for the incident, saying "After drinking alcohol on Thursday night, I did a number of things that were very wrong and for which I am ashamed...I acted like a person completely out of control when I was arrested, and said things that I do not believe to be true and which are despicable...I disgraced myself and my family with my behavior and for that I am truly sorry." The bad news is that it may be too late to salvage his standing with the public.

For Mel Gibson fans, that mea culpa may be enough--but for most other people, Mad Mel just became a party joke at best and a fallen star with a shortened career at worst. Being in a position of any power or influence makes you a role model, whether you like it or not. Unless you want your private life to become the hot topic around the water cooler, practice moderation to avoid humiliation.

MEDIA MATTERS--Talking Trouble

I'm just starting a consulting job with a client who is dealing with a reporter who is literally hounding its executive director for comments on negative stories planted by a politician whose agenda is pretty obvious. Whew. Forget a crisis plan--this organization has no media plan whatsoever! So what's the first thing I recommended?

Hire a media spokesperson. Someone to manage an effective media plan while handling all communications, so that the executive director can actually have time to perform the duties they were hired to do. Train the spokesperson to handle whatever journalistic storms are rolling through until you can get a short-term media strategy worked out with a professional. (By the way, I'd be happy to help you, too--check out my seminar, Managing The Media--Getting The Press You Want When You Want It (And Handling The Press When You Don't,) on my website at MARKtalks.com.)

It doesn't matter how good you are at dealing with pesky reporters. Your job is to run the company, not run from the press. Hire a spokesperson you can trust to handle your message and let them do the heavy lifting.

LIVING SAVVY--Get The Funk Out...

It seems I've been a little depressed lately, which is pretty unusual for a positive, motivated guy like me. Mom passed away only two weeks ago and I thought I was handling the loss well enough...but apparently I'm the last to find out that I've been acting mopey and distant.

I struggled with the news. I felt lazy and apathetic and thick, in that large and lumbering way you get when you feel like a big brick of cheese. My wife told me, "Physician, heal thyself." I'm supposed to be the guy other people turn to when they need to be lifted up--how on earth do I break out of this funk?!?

The answer was typically strange and wonderful...I decided to run. Hard. Like those PT runs back when I was a first-year "doolie" at the Air Force Academy. Problem was, it was screaming hot outside. (I don't know if you've been following the summer heat wave news, but Sacramento has been broiling for a record 9 straight days with highs over 100. It's been so hot that Star Jones actually hugged Barbara Walters just to get the cold shoulder.)

The thermometer read 107. I was undaunted. I hit the road to sweat this swampy feeling out of my system. I focused on nothing but the sound of my breathing and after a mile, I ran back into the house, hit the showers and thought, "Now what...?"

It turns out that exercise is an excellent way to break depression. (Especially exercise performed by a deranged life coach.) That 10-minute run was just the thing I needed, a really intense workout in extreme conditions to shake out my sensibilities and put life back into perspective.

I don't recommend this remedy for everyone, especially if you're adverse to sweating buckets. But I do recommend shaking up your status quo if you're feeling depressed. See an outrageously funny movie, buy something you'd normally never dream of, maybe get out of bed an hour earlier and treat yourself to a fancy breakfast.

Life is hard enough. Don't vote yourself off the island. Zig when you usually zag and you might find a bright new day waiting for you.

LEADERSHIP--Determined To Win

One of the most inspirational stories you'll ever hear took place last week in the Tour De France. American cyclist Floyd Landis won the coveted "yellow jersey" after a roller-coaster week where he recovered from a disastrous mountain ride to stand on the victory podium on the Champs-Elysees yesterday. His journey to victory is a testament to determination...and a great leadership lesson.

Landis grew up in rural Pennsylvania where his Mennonite family discouraged him from becoming a cyclist by filling his days with strenuous chores. He defied them by riding his bike after dark, sometimes until 2 a.m.

He spent a few years as a member of Lance Armstrong's championship Tour De France team, until he jumped ship to become the leader of his own team. Experts told Landis he had no chance to win.

To complicate matters, Landis developed an arthritic hip so painful that he scheduled surgery immediately following this year's Tour, a procedure doctors told him could end his career.

But Landis perservered, hearing a voice that urged him to press on, even after a devastating performance on the second-to-last stage in the mountains where he lost the yellow jersey and fell to 11th place, more than eight minutes behind the leader. An insurmountable margin.

Floyd gathered his team, told them he didn't race to lose, and gave them an impossible strategy--break out of the pack at the first uphill mountain grade and literally sprint up the slope to break the will of their competition. It worked. Landis picked up 7 1/2 of the eight minutes he'd lost the day before with a performance that every Tour De France expert said was the greatest individual stage victory they'd ever seen.

Landis eventually took back the lead and won the Tour, much differently than his former boss. Lance Armstrong was the picture of preparation. Floyd Landis is the face of determination.

Having one without the other can still produce excellence, but as a leader, doesn't it seem that having both is ideal? I'll add another key element--that first, inspiration, followed with preparation, then finished with determination, is a sure formula for success in any organization.

RELATIONSHIPS--It's All About The Follow-Through

My mom passed away on July 7th (one of the big reasons my blog entries have been sparse lately.) While I miss her smile, her strength, and her nobility, I will never forget the many surprising life lessons I learned during her final days.

Mom had a way of getting right to the point, and she reminded me many times that you build a successful life by taking care of every relationship you have no matter how small. The lessons must have rubbed off on my dad, who put Mom's leadership theory into practice in an impressive way.

One of Mom's great joys was singing with the Sweet Adelines. For over 15 years she practiced, performed, competed, and shared life with these special ladies, even up to a month before her death...so it was only fitting that Mom was buried in her favorite Sweet Adelines' shirt. We asked her group to sing at Mom's wake and the sound they produced that night still gives me goosebumps.

Days later, after the funeral when all the family and friends have gone back to their regular lives, Dad drove over to the Sweet Adelines' rehearsal space. It must have been a lonely ride, the first time he had made a visit without Mom there, but he had a purpose. He went there to say "thank you." Thanks for so many things that were good and real and true in their relationship. Dad was just following though for Mom.

It was a simple gesture that profoundly shows how important the "follow-through" is in our everyday relationships. A quick visit, an unexpected compliment, a promise kept, an offer to help when your time is precious--these are the gifts that others appreciate far more than the trinkets and toys that typically define our relationships' worth.

Think about the "follow-through" with your family, friends, coworkers, even customers. I'll guarantee that you'll be long remembered.

SPEAKING SKILLS--Is this thing on?!?

President Bush uttered an expletive at the G-8 summit. And a microphone caught it.

Now, the fact that the leader of the free world was tossing out some salty language isn't very surprising, but it IS news. According to news reports, President Bush was engaged in a little light luncheon banter on the subject of Israeli-Hezbollah tensions when one of the microphones at his table picked up the following:

"See the irony is that what they need to do is get Syria to get Hezbollah to stop doing this s--- and it's over..."

Okay. The Prez said the s-word. It's not the first time (remember the "major league" A-bomb that Bush/Cheney dropped on NY Times reporter Adam Clymer?) nor will it be the most famous (Ronald Reagan's "We start bombing in five minutes" is the all-time oopsie moment.) Remember:

1. The microphone is ALWAYS on (never trust a sound engineer to turn things off.)
2. The camera is ALWAYS pointed at you (and you'll always be doing something embarrassing when it is.)
3. You're ALWAYS "on the record" with a reporter (no matter how many times you tell them otherwise.)

Keep those rules in mind when you're in a public forum and you'll never have to worry about about what you did or said winding up as the lead story on the news.

LEADERSHIP--Learning from "A-O-Hell"

By now, you've probably heard about the HUGE public relations nightmare that's hitting America Online right now (for the gory details, check it out HERE.) My favorite part--when John the AOL rep asked the 30-year-old customer if he could speak to his father!

It's bad enough that after 20 minutes of screaming at the worst excuse for a customer service rep ever, Vincent Ferrari posted a recording of his conversation on his blog for the World Wide Web to read. It caught the attention of CNBC reporter Matt Lefkowitz, who wanted to see what AOL had to say when he tried cancelling his account.

It took him 45 minutes. After he was disconnected on his first attempt.

AOL's response after the CNBC story aired last week? Read for yourself:

"At AOL, we have zero-tolerance for customer care incidents like this - which is deeply regrettable and also absolutely inexcusable. The employee in question violated our customer service guidelines and practices, and everything that AOL believes to be important in customer care - chief among them being respect for the member, and swiftly honoring their requests. This matter was dealt with immediately and appropriately, and the employee cited here is no longer with the Company.

"I've spoken directly to Mr. Ferrari and personally apologized to him for what took place. Many here have taken a strong interest in this episode - even going so far as to email all customer service representatives about it as an example of how we should never treat a member. We're going to learn from this - and continue to make the necessary, positive changes to our practices. This was an aberration and a mistake, and we have to manage these incidents down to zero as best we can. That means improving our already strong safeguards in place today, and maintaining rigorous internal and external compliance methods. We can do better - and we will."

Ummmm, thanks...but too late. The damage has been done. It's not that this is the first time someone has had trouble trying to drop their AOL account--in fact, there are several web sites devoted entirely to this frustrating endeavor! It's the fact that with today's technology, everyone can read and hear all about it and soon, the problem reaches legendary proportions.

As a leader, it's never too late to sit down with everyone in your organization to make sure they're overdelivering on customer service. Saving a couple bucks trying to keep a dissatisfied customer today might cost you and your company's reputation in the end.

LEADERSHIP--Another Urban Legend

People love "urban legends"--stories passed along from person to person, usually by email, that sound like they're true but usually have little basis in fact. According to the web site, Snopes.com, "urban legends are narratives which put our fears and concerns into the form of stories or are tales which we use to confirm the rightness of our world view."

You may not know it, but there are "urban legends" everywhere, even in the business world. Let me give you one example: you're firing one of your employees and to soften the blow, you tell them, "It's not personal, it's just business."

Wrong. That's an urban legend of leadership.

The maxim should be "When it comes to business, it's all personal." As a leader, you're responsible to customers, employees, maybe stockholders...and believe me, they take what you do seriously. So when you tell them, "It's not personal," what you're really saying is that it's not personal to you.

But it should be.

The most successful leaders carry a passion for personal performance with them every day and instill a sense of accountability with everyone they encounter. Your business will grow every time you let someone you work with know "it's personal."

(If you'd like to hear more about my presentation, "The Urban Legends of Leadership," please check out my web site at MARKtalks.com.)

MEDIA MATTERS--Getting The "Coulter" Shoulder?

Maybe she knows what she's doing...but I can't help but think that conservative author and pundit Ann Coulter needs a little help with her media people skills.

Ms. Coulter got into a shouting match with NBC "Today Show" host Matt Lauer over her comments regarding a group of 9/11 widows who she claims have used a national tragedy for their personal gain. Political perspective aside, she made a couple of critical mistakes that will probably erode her credibility. (Notice I didn't say her popularity. In the world of political opinion, you want people to either love you or hate you...and the people who hate you will give you more attention than the people who love you. Which means bigger ratings and book sales.)

Rule #13 of Media Interview Techniques--don't get into a shouting match with the host. Having passion is great. Having lung power is not. The host controls the show and when you both get so worked up that tempers flare, guess who wins? And guess who invariably gets blasted after the interview's over? Not the interviewer. You only win when you are the cool and collected one.

Ann Coulter could've saved the interview by using a little charm or some self-deprecating humor, but she ended the segment by breaking Rule #7--never insult the host. After Matt Lauer closed the segment by saying, "Ann Coulter...always fun to have you here" she got one last shot in by saying, "Hey, Matt, where's Katie (Couric)? Did she leave or something?!?"

Childish. And self-serving. Ann Coulter's actions may sell books, but it doesn't help her credibility let alone give conservatives a fair shake in the public discourse. Lesson here--if you're in a confrontational interview with a member of the media, always take the high ground.

SPEAKING SKILLS--Pomp Without The Circumstance

It's graduation season--which means you can't swing a tassel without hitting a celebrity speaker who can't or doesn't seem to care about his audience. I just sat through an interminably looooooooooong, self-serving speech by a really big name with an even bigger reputation. This celebrity obviously didn't understand the central concept of a graduation speech--it gives the speaker the chance to send young minds out into the world with a greater sense of purpose, a more practical perspective on life's trials and triumphs, or a call to arms to make the world a better place for future graduates.

Most graduation speeches fail because most graduation speakers think that the speech is about them, so they use the occasion to stroke their own egos or promote their pet causes. No wonder they're boring. However, there's a great lesson here that every speaker should use when forming their presentations--something world-class trainer Patricia Fripp calls the "I-You Ratio."

It's simple--just use the word "YOU" much more often than you use the word "I". For example, instead of saying "I was fishing with my dad one day when I caught the biggest bass I'd ever seen." Turn the perspective around to include your listeners:

"Imagine you're fishing on a calm, quiet lake as the sun breaks over the tree tops...and all you can hear is the breathing of the most important man in your life. Suddenly, your father says, 'I think you got one!' You stumble around the boat, struggling to reel in your prize catch. It is the biggest smallmouth bass you've ever seen. But not nearly as big as the smile on your dad's face."

Not only does that opening have a great emotional connection, it puts your audience in the middle of your experience. It engages them in a positive mental adventure that sets you up for a successful presentation. Most important, the proper "I/You Ratio" puts the focus of any speech, not just graduations, where it should be--on your audience, not on you.

SPEAKING SKILLS -- Everyone Needs A Sensei

How do people at the top stay at the top? Mentoring.

The most successful businesspeople, athletes, actors--anyone who performs at a high level of skill--typically has someone who offers training, counseling, or accountability to help keep those skills sharp. Along the way, you may become a mentor to someone else in your chosen field. The master-protege relationship has worked for centuries.

Think of it this way...you take a beginner's karate class. Your sensei is probably in training himself, taking master classes from the sensei/owner, a 3rd-degree black belt. And after the classes are finished at his dojo, the 3rd-degree meets with his sensei, an 8th-degree black belt, to attain the very highest levels of martial arts proficiency.

Do you have a mentor? When it comes to career advancement and personal growth, nothing compares to the advice, guidance and counseling gained at the feet of a more experienced person willing to show you the ropes.

RELATIONSHIPS -- Idol Thoughts

If you're one of the 35% of Americans who can't wait to discuss American Idol around the water cooler the morning after, you'll be interested to know that a good part of the show's phenomenal success comes from a proven morning radio show formula.

Radio consultant Mike McVay (the guy who's mentored my career for the past 20 years) says the secret to putting together a top-rated morning show is in the casting--you need a "jerk," a "chick," and a "dork." Sounds like most drive-time radio laugh-fests you hear these days. It also sounds a lot like Simon, Paula, and Randy.

The judges' chemistry is a big part of what makes American Idol "must see TV," but without Simon's biting candor, Idol is just another TV talent show. It's his total transparency, those infamous, no-holds-barred critiques that get America talking. Simon says what most people are thinking about the contestants--he just doesn't have that pause switch that stops the average person from speaking their mind.

There's an important lesson here. More and more, I hear people tell me they want more transparency in their relationships, personal and professional. They need constructive criticism, not watered-down PC answers to life's tough questions. Think about it--don't you respect and appreciate the tough love responses your family, friends, and co-workers give you more that the "happy talk" you get from someone who cares more about avoiding conflict than they care about you?

Start a "Simon Says" philosophy for all your relationships and you'll become the person everyone wants to hear from!

LEADERSHIP -- More Tips on "Tipping"

Not more than 30 minutes after I posted my latest entry on how business leaders can "insure prompt service" from their staff, I ran across this article from Patricia Fripp, one of the most successful (and certainly, the most interesting) professional speakers and trainers in the industry. Just read what she has learned--

Good Customer Service Is More Than Good PR
by Patricia Fripp, CSP, CPAE

In the throes and stresses of our workday lives, we sometimes forget how our customers see us. One single negative contact can ruin your reputation in the eyes of not only that one customer -- but everyone he or she knows as well. After all, word of mouth works both for or against you.

You need to make sure everybody in your organization knows he or she is an important part of it. Each department depends and dovetails into the other to produce quality in service or product. Everyone makes a difference: the sales force, the service technicians, the clerical staff, the PR department all work together toward the same goal -- keeping the customers satisfied.

A perfect example of how everyone makes a difference is when I was in a Nashville hotel attending a board of directors meeting for the National Speakers Association. After the meeting, several of us went to the coffee shop to continue our deliberations. Each of us asked for exceptions or additions to the menu items; we wanted separate checks; and to make things even more confusing, being speakers, we talked to each other the whole time the waitress patiently took our orders. "My dear, all this confusion is going to be worthwhile -- these guys are big tippers," I said.

She said, "I'm not being nice for a tip. It doesn't even matter if I get a tip or not. If we give you good service, your group will bring back its business here and not to the competition." Isn't that a marvelous attitude from someone on the front lines?

I was so impressed, I wrote a letter to the hotel manager congratulating him on his staff and especially the waitress at the coffee shop. I never received a reply. That waitress "wowed" me with her service and her attitude; but the manager's lack of response almost nullified her customer service savvy.

Everyone makes a difference. I think the manager and the waitress should change places for a couple of weeks, she knows more about good PR than he does. As Paul Harvey says, "Advertising strategies work if everyone knows about them, from the highest corporate executive to the entry level worker."

Patricia Fripp, CSP, CPAE is a San Francisco-based executive speech coach, sales trainer, and award-winning professional speaker. She is the author of Get What You Want!, Make It, SoYou Don't Have to Fake It!, and Past-President of the National Speakers Association. She can be reached at: PFripp@Fripp.com, 1-800 634-3035, http://www.fripp.com

MOTIVATION -- "To Insure Prompt Service"

Whatever happened to optional tipping?

According to industry reports, it's not just restaurants, hotels, and cruise ships who are adding mandatory gratuities to your bill. Other businesses such as airport skycabs and caterers are starting to attach automatic tips to every transaction. Add mandatory tipping to service fees and you can see why this new strategy is so attractive--PriceWaterhouseCooper estimates that the hotel industry alone will collect $1.6 billion in fees and gratuities from guests this year.

There's a growing discontent from customers who feel that tipping is a very personal practice. Of course, you can argue that automatic gratuities protect servers from cheap and ungrateful customers. But my experience as a busboy/waiter/bartender proves that by giving every customer the same excellent service, my disappointment from getting stiffed by the occasional stiff was more than compensated by the tables who left jawdropping tips (and recommended me and the place I was working to all their friends!)

Taking the power of tipping away may also start diminishing the overall quality of service. What's the point of trying harder if I'm going to get the same gratuity at the end of the day? (This is part of the "Sure Thing Theory" that I discuss in my seminar, The Urban Legends of Leadership -- go to MARKtalks.com for more information.)

Too many people have an unhealthy sense of entitlement when it comes to performance and compensation, expecting something whether or not it's deserved. On the other hand, there are employers out there who don't let their staff know what level of excellence is demanded and figure that service fees and mandatory gratuities cover any shortcomings.

There's only one way as a business leader "to insure prompt service," as the tipping acronym goes, from your employees. Give generously for generous work. Show your strong and consistent appreciation and you will be repaid with excellence and loyalty.

SPEAKING SKILLS -- Full-Contact Eye Contact

A lot of executive speech trainers will tell you that the biggest problem most speakers have is eye contact -- looking at a couple of friendly faces to the exclusion of everyone else, giving too much eye contact to the boss or client, or worst of all, moving back and forth from the script to the audience so much that it looks like they're watching a bungee jumper. Every good speech trainer has a bag of tricks that can fix most of these focus problems, but while their training tips may be sound, I believe the secret to successful eye contact isn't in the crowd, it's on the page.

The secret is in the proper preparation. Doesn't it make sense that if you take the time to memorize your speech and practice it enough to feel entirely comfortable, you won't have to worry about where to look. Funny, you never have trouble with eye contact when you're talking to your friends. Take that approach with your next public speaking opportunity and you'll be having a conversation with friends, not speaking off notes to a bunch of strangers.

Just think of world-class athletes like Michael Jordan, Tiger Woods, Lance Armstrong, and Mia Hamm...nobody trained harder, practiced more, or prepared more diligently, so that when it came time for competition, they were creating while everyone else was busy thinking.

If you want "full-contact" eye contact with your audience, spend more time on the page before your speech so you can spend more time off the page while you're speaking.

MEDIA MATTERS -- Snow in May

(My sincere apologies for the lack of posts over the past few weeks. Thanks for your patience--I will resume posting new entries on a regular basis from now on! -- MARK)

Tony Snow is the new White House Press Secretary and if his first week on the job is any indication, Tony might single-handedly salvage President Bush's second term.

He has shown a refreshing combination of humor, humility, and transparency in a political world that desperately needs all three. Yet, I read a blog by a highly respected media trainer who thought Tony made a huge mistake by admitting that his decision to bring the White House Press Corps into his office for his first presser turned out to be "just a mess."

Tony was obviously being candid (not to mention self-deprecating.) However, this media expert thought he made a "monumental press blunder," going on to say, "...the episode does show clearly that when you are spokesperson for an organization receiving tremendous scrutiny, any time you get off message, you run the risk of destroying an entire day's news coverage."

I couldn't disagree more. While conventional wisdom believes that any slip of the tongue or off-hand remark could spell disaster for high profile messengers, there is a growing need for honesty and sincerity with a media that has been numbed and even angered by all the double-talk and vagueness it's used to getting. (What's the point of staying "on message" if the message always gets garbled up by an angry mob of reporters?)

Tony Snow is a great example of how to handle the press with style and grace. Watch him and take notes!

LEADERSHIP--What happens in Vegas?

What do Las Vegas and Jeffery Shilling have in common? Plenty. They both show a troubling lack of judgement...and from society's standpoint, a troubling lack of perspective.

You've seen the popular ad campaign, "What happens here, stays here." Las Vegas tourism has apparently abandoned its recent family-friendly makeover and gone back to the original Sin City image. It's promoting "situational ethics." And it's just as big a problem as the Enron scandal. But society accepts--even celebrates--the wild and crazy adventures of desperate housewives on a Vegas vacation but scorns and ridicules the accounting antics of a bunch of greedy executives. Why?

It's hypocritical to nudge and wink at the Vegas line and then point fingers when corporate managers break the universal code of ethics. By Las Vegas standards, Enron's slogan should be "What happens in the boardroom, stays in the boardroom." But somehow, everyone thinks they're two different situations. How could a little harmless fun away from home possibly compare with the magnitude of corruption visible in the Jeffery Shilling case?

Simple--if character is who you are when no one's looking, then it shouldn't matter what the situation is. Leadership demands a higher level of ethical behavior--whether you're the head of a major corporation or the head of the household. You don't get to pick and choose when--or where.

RELATIONSHIPS--Kiss Me, Kate?

I'm taking a little time off from this blog to concentrate my energies on my role in the Sacramento Theatre Company's production of Shakespeare's classic comedy, "The Taming of the Shrew." Terrific cast, hilarious concept (set in the Wild West), and a high-energy romp from showdown to hoedown. For those of you who know the play, I'm playing Hortensio--for those of you who don't, I'm playing Bill Daly's Major Healey to Larry Hagman's Major Nelson from "I Dream of Jeannie".

The play gets a lot of criticism from people who think the premise is misogynistic--some macho man "taming" a spirited, independent woman. On the surface, it certainly reads like that...but on closer inspection, the leading man goes through a remarkable transformation as he finally realizes that he genuinely admires and adores his wildcat of a wife.

My 6-year old daughter has been fascinated by the production pictures, and just the other day, she looked at a photo of Petruchio and Kate in a combat pose and said to me, "Daddy, this man really needs to marry the girl because he's sad and needs someone to love him." WOW. She was absolutely right--this confirmed bachelor who has "come to wive it wealthily in Padua" needs a partner of equal strength and passion to share his life.

Understanding why we need to have certain kinds of people as friends or lovers is more important than the need itself. And the ability to cultivate and appreciate those relationships carries one of the keys to happiness. Let the special people in your life know just how special they are today!

MEDIA MATTERS--Raising Helen

How would you handle a press conference when every reporter is itching to ask you the "really tough question"? There's an art to it...which I cover in depth in one of my training seminars called Managing The Media—Getting The Press You Want When You Want It(…and how to handle it when you don't!) See my website at marktalks.com for more information!

There was an interesting exchange at yesterday's press conference between President Bush and legendary White House reporter Helen Thomas that shows precisely how to handle an adversarial media moment. This was an ideal demonstration of how a press conference works to the advantage of anyone who’s even moderately versed in the art. For those who complain the press doesn't ask the tough questions, they don’t get much tougher than the one Thomas asked:

"Your decision to invade Iraq has caused the deaths of thousands of Americans and Iraqis, wounds of Americans and Iraqis for a lifetime. Every reason given, publicly at least, has turned out not to be true. My question is: Why did you really want to go to war? From the moment you stepped into the White House, your Cabinet officers, former Cabinet officers, intelligence people and so forth -- but what's your real reason? You have said it wasn't oil, the quest for oil. It hasn't been Israel or anything else. What was it?"

Ms. Thomas was basically saying to the President, "We all know you lied about the reasons you went to war, now tell us the truth." You don't get much tougher questions than that, but President Bush came right back with a near-perfect response:

“I think your premise, in all due respect to your question and to you as a lifelong journalist -- that I wanted war. To assume I wanted war is just flat wrong, Helen, in all due respect...No president wants war. Everything you may have heard is that, but it's just simply not true.”

Now, put aside your feelings about the war and look at this press conference objectively. The president didn’t call on Helen Thomas to change her mind--he called on her because he knew he'd get a tough question and because he knew he could respond in a forceful manner. He also rephrased her question in such a way that allowed him to control the dialogue to his favor. (Standriff's First Rule of Speaking--He who controls the mike controls the room!)

When you're facing negative media coverage, the strongest strategy is to formulate a solid message, face the press immediately, and restate every question so it works to your advantage.

SPEAKING SKILLS--Learning from the best

I don't profess to have all the answers--but I know the people who do. Like Mark Sanborn, one of the best speakers I've ever heard. Mark's the guy who discovered The Fred Factor, a must-read for anyone interested in leadership excellence and customer service. He's also a Certified Professional Speaker and a past president of the National Speakers Association. (Check out his website at marksanborn.com for more information.) Let me share something Mark wrote a while back on presentation skills that every speaker should take to heart:

6 Principles for Powerful Presenting
by Mark Sanborn, CSP, CPAE

1. It isn't enough to have a message. It must be YOUR message. What is it about your topic that is important to you? That is where your uniqueness lies. Don't give books reports. Bring your unique perspective to the audience. When you discover your message, you also release your passion.
2. The best advice on speaking I ever got was over 20 years ago from David Johnson, then an Ohio legislator. He told me that every audience wants to be entertained. I have found that education is usually best delivered on the wings of entertainment.
3. At the beginning of every speech, your primary challenge is to break preoccupation. Each audience member is preoccupied with their own thoughts and concerns. A powerful, attention-grabbing beginning is critical.
4. People don't remember your points, they remember your illustrations. If they can remember the story, then they will be able to remember the point or lesson that the story teaches. Stories are like mental coat-pegs: a place for listeners to hang ideas.
5. Demosthenes, when asked about the first, second, and third desiderata of rhetoric, replied, "Action, action, action." End with a call to action. Make it clear what you would like your audience to do as a result of your presentation. Be clear on what they should do, not just what they should think.
6. The primary reason why speakers fail is lack of preparation. Practice may not make perfect, but it does make one better. Enough practice makes one great. Speaking, like any other worthwhile endeavor, requires much practice and preparation.

(Mark Sanborn's next book is due out soon, called You Don't Need a Title to Be a Leader: How Anyone, Anytime Can Make a Positive Difference.)